


hide behind the impossible

by Deanon



Category: McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: E3, M/M, Pining, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 18:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11064483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanon/pseuds/Deanon
Summary: home is someone waiting up for you.





	hide behind the impossible

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [all the things we can't share](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11054652) by [gribbins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gribbins/pseuds/gribbins). 



> standard RPF warnings. not a depiction or even an attempt at a depiction of actual events. if this is gonna make you uncomfortable at all maybe head out now
> 
> Remixed from Kay's amazing fic and the dialogue between nick and griffin is all hers!

Griffin was the lump in the back of Nick's throat.

He was the catch in his breath at an unexpected moment of joy. He was the bittersweet burst of the first taste of caffeine in the morning. He was the face haunting the back of Nick's mind as he took shots with Simone.

Nick set the shot glass back down, tried not to cough, failed, and accepted Simone laughing at him with good grace.

Griffin was, more than anything, a _moron_.

It was the only way he hadn't noticed yet, because Nick was a lot of things, but subtle wasn't really one of them. It had to be obvious from the moment he'd set eyes on Griffin at the airport and felt the excitement shoot through him down to his toes. Since the moment Griffin had hugged him and he'd felt his entire body fold into it, maybe.

Come to think of it, probably since the moment he jumped at the chance to pick Griffin up at the airport in the first place.

"... Griffin?" That was Simone. Nick jumped out of his skin.

"What - about - who, what?" Nick choked. God, his throat was still burning.

"Man, those hit you fast, don't they?" Simone leaned against the bartop. They were at someone's room party, the kind that Nick was barely used to getting invited to at conventions; rooms where he already knew most of the people in it. "I said, where's Griffin?"

"Oh - uh, something something work something, tired, boring boy." Griffin _had_ seemed tired on Nick's way out, but it was his distance - the way his eyes couldn't quite seem to rest on Nick for longer than a second - that had made Nick want to go out in the first place.

"Aww," Simone said. "It's like he's getting old."

"It's true that everything goes downhill once you hit 30."

"Unless you're - " Simone scrunched her nose up. "...I was going to reference an older actor but I've suddenly forgotten every one of their names."

"Uhh," Nick said, freezing up. He felt like somewhere, Griffin was staring him down, watching him miserably fail this pop culture test. "...Hugh Jackman?"

"Nick, no."

"He was the first one that came to mind!"

"I need another shot after that. I'll even get you a chaser."

\--

The front door to the Airbnb was a hazy blur, and it took him a couple tries to get it open. He'd slowed down a lot after he'd started hanging out with people other than Simone, but he was still more drunk than tipsy.

He half-walked, half-stumbled into the living room, and felt his breath freeze in his chest.

Griffin was just - there. There was a lamp on and he had his laptop on his legs, leaning on one arm, looking dead tired but smiling at Nick even though Nick was a drunk mess who was staring at him like a lovesick fool.

_I want to come home to this,_ Nick thought. It tore at him like something true. _I want to come home to this for longer than a weekend. I want to come home to this every day._

"Hey Griffin," he said.

"Hey Nick," and that felt like melted caramel down his spine. Suddenly, blessedly, he was in the sweet spot of drunk - warm and affectionate, unable to pine when what he wanted was right in front of him.

He went to the couch, and he didn't mean to sit down so close but once any part of him touched Griffin he curled into it, noticed the way that Griffin's breath caught. The world swayed like a ship, and he laid his head down on Griffin's shoulder to just ride it out.

Griffin shifted, and Nick slanted open his eyes to see that the laptop has moved, and that was just - it was practically an invitation, and the thought 'but what if I - ' had barely entered his head before he was laying down.

God. God, this was - he wanted this. Exactly this, forever.

What came out of his mouth was, "I'm glad I get to do this with you."

And his stomach turned and Griffin drew in a breath and Nick regained just enough sobriety to talk about - Polygon, and working with Griffin, being Griffin's best friend. It was all true. It was not what he meant.

Griffin said, "We love you, you know?" and Nick held his head very still, swallowed until he was sure his voice wouldn't shake when he answered.

"I love you guys." The next part almost stuck in his throat but tumbled out, still sweet and warm and caught up in the magic of feeling as though Griffin was his to come home to. "You especially. I wouldn't want to do this with anyone else."

Griffin's voice shook as he responded, and Nick didn't hear him because a second later, Griffin's hand was in his hair and that - he felt the shivers from that to his toes. He wanted to push into it, tried to, failed to make his muscles move at all. Sunk into it instead.

It was barely any time at all after that that Griffin was pulling him up and talking about bed, taking care of him, letting Nick rest his weight on him. It was surreal. He told Griffin that. Like a dream he didn't want to wake up from.

"I'm happy for you, Nick." Oh, they reached his room. His bed. The moment Griffin removed his support, Nick fell into it. "Now come on, time to sleep. I'm gonna get some water for you to have when you wake up."

It was the idea that Griffin was leaving him here that yanked Nick's muscles into motion, made him reach out one last time and look at Griffin and say, "Thanks for taking care of me, dude." The world was still spinning, and Griffin looked kind of sad. The streetlights outside were illuminating a part of his face that Nick, with sudden intensity, wanted to kiss. It's unbearable. "You're the best. My absolute favorite."

He wanted to say more but he was out of energy, out of everything. He wanted to pull Griffin down into the bed and say, _stay_ , but he wasn't that drunk. He had never been that drunk.

And then Griffin was gone, moving in the kitchen, and Nick closed his eyes and let this world fade into one where Griffin came back, and didn't leave.


End file.
